Your Soup Is Getting Cold

perche la minesstra si fredda – Leonardo Da Vinci

Of all the works and all the manuscripts left by Leonardo Da Vinci, this tiny scribble serves as a profound reminder.  He left this note on his work in 1518 as a notation of why he was leaving his geometric theories for the time.  The genius, the achiever, the unquenchable seeker of knowledge and projects left his work “because the soup was getting cold.” 

A human calling to something plain, mundane and central to life to a man who was brilliant, accomplished and driven.

How many of us would leave our important work because our soup, whether real or metaphorical, was getting cold?  As a parent, I see this soup as a metaphor for the family life:  The ordinary daily calling of that which nourishes us.  To me, it seems that modern Leonardos, and all of us who are much less than Leonardos, think our work is too important to leave behind for something as simple as cooling soup.  We fail to look up and recognize life around us – our children, our partners, our homes and communities.  Work has become all encompassing – all that we need, all that we are, all that we will ever be.  All that we will ever be especially if we don’t take care of that soup.  No, you cannot stick your family in the microwave and warm them up later.  They will have moved on, grown up, moved emotionally away from parents who cannot leave their writing table – or more likely their e-tablet, laptop, phone or other electronica – to enjoy their soup while it is warm. 

Americans seem so wrapped up in the rewards of work that the simple goodness of family life and especially children is pushed off until later.  We spend many hours at work or at home working.  We pawn off teaching our children exclusively to overburdened schools, experts, nannies, television, or educational games.  Anyone but us, because we cannot be bothered.  We cannot peel ourselves away from work and work-related activities to notice let alone deal with the cooling soup.  According to the American Time Use Survey, the average married American father spends 0.8 hours a day on child care.  The average American mother spends 1.5 hours a day on caring for her children.  That is barely enough time to give them breakfast and dinner, let alone read a book, teach them to ride a bike, coach a game or help them with homework.  Of course, this survey doesn’t note whether or not mom and dad are interacting with junior with an iphone screen (or two) between them. 

Parents may be pressured by employers about the hours and levels of productivity expected.  Parents may have two jobs to make ends meet.  But, many of us simply chose the easy distraction of work and professional life over the mundane cooling soup: the time, the attention, the care needed to be present with our children. 

Leonardo could stop and nourish himself in time.  He made that note and somehow knew that there was something more important at that moment than his remarkable projects.  You can too.

Your soup is getting cold.  Go tend to it.